Monday, September 29, 2003
Well!
The show opens in 4 days! I could puke all over myself. I am that nervous.
I woke up yesterday and turned to Paul and said “I don’t think I can do this show anymore. It was a bad idea and I’m not ready and I have to back out of it and I am not an actor and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”
I started to shake and freak out. Paul was amazing. He immediately calmed me down and held me for a couple of minutes. I leaned into him and allowed him to take away the stress. Thank God for his comfort and assurance.
We were able to work everything out between us on Saturday night and I am very happy with the outcome. We both listened to each other and he took some of the blame for the fight that we had. It was very comforting to know that we have gotten so far into our relationship that we can listen to one another and understand where the other person is coming from. It’s taken 3 and a half years to get to this point, yet it has been well worth the wait.
I have three more rehearsals until the big opening night. I couldn’t be more excited or more scared about it. I am in a horrible mood today and hope that I can get out of it before I go there tonight. To be honest, I really hate my job and it’s been wearing down on me for the last couple of weeks. There is nothing I want more than to ditch these shitheads here and move on in my life. I have had just about enough of their smart mouths and lazy fucking attitudes. Being the administrative whipping boy has taken its toll on me. I fucking hate my job. FUCKING hate it. Fuck fuck fuck wish I could find a way to get out of here fuck.
My friend Angie’s grandmother passed away this morning. The funeral is on Wednesday. I feel terrible for her, but we all knew this was coming. She has been incredibly strong throughout this whole process and I am very proud of the way that she has handled herself. Instead of shoving all of these emotions out of her mind, she has dealt with it head on. I’m not sure if I would have done it that way if our situations were reversed. I hope she realizes that she has Kelly and I to lean on, should she need to take us up on that offer.
Alright, that’s it for today. Time to go get out of my shitty mood. Seriously, I feel like I could kill someone today.
Grrrrr….I fucking hate Mondays.
The show opens in 4 days! I could puke all over myself. I am that nervous.
I woke up yesterday and turned to Paul and said “I don’t think I can do this show anymore. It was a bad idea and I’m not ready and I have to back out of it and I am not an actor and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”
I started to shake and freak out. Paul was amazing. He immediately calmed me down and held me for a couple of minutes. I leaned into him and allowed him to take away the stress. Thank God for his comfort and assurance.
We were able to work everything out between us on Saturday night and I am very happy with the outcome. We both listened to each other and he took some of the blame for the fight that we had. It was very comforting to know that we have gotten so far into our relationship that we can listen to one another and understand where the other person is coming from. It’s taken 3 and a half years to get to this point, yet it has been well worth the wait.
I have three more rehearsals until the big opening night. I couldn’t be more excited or more scared about it. I am in a horrible mood today and hope that I can get out of it before I go there tonight. To be honest, I really hate my job and it’s been wearing down on me for the last couple of weeks. There is nothing I want more than to ditch these shitheads here and move on in my life. I have had just about enough of their smart mouths and lazy fucking attitudes. Being the administrative whipping boy has taken its toll on me. I fucking hate my job. FUCKING hate it. Fuck fuck fuck wish I could find a way to get out of here fuck.
My friend Angie’s grandmother passed away this morning. The funeral is on Wednesday. I feel terrible for her, but we all knew this was coming. She has been incredibly strong throughout this whole process and I am very proud of the way that she has handled herself. Instead of shoving all of these emotions out of her mind, she has dealt with it head on. I’m not sure if I would have done it that way if our situations were reversed. I hope she realizes that she has Kelly and I to lean on, should she need to take us up on that offer.
Alright, that’s it for today. Time to go get out of my shitty mood. Seriously, I feel like I could kill someone today.
Grrrrr….I fucking hate Mondays.
